Bloopers!

(Reader’s discretion recommended.. Strictly above 18)

Have anyone of u, ever thought, what makes ur life really INTERESTING. Taking a week off from ur work? Earning lot of bucks? Going on a long drive with ur honey? Family get-together? Friends reunion? Getting an A in the exam.. Surely Naah! Well, if noticed, I carefully used the word “Interesting”, instead of “Happy” for which all of the above questions hold an affirmative answer. Well I hate to admit but it’s The BLOOPERS. It has a complete package of Action, Drama, Suspense, Romance, Thrill and above all “THE MOMENT” which u will cherish for the lifetime. Personally I believe, life, when complicated, is great fun. Don’t u believe me? I will make you. For Sure.

Everyone does have a past marinated with few embarrassing moments, the so called Bloopers. I too had my share of “The Moments” in this short life. Still I get Goosebumps whenever I recollect any of those. I believe, it’s the biggest blessing given by GOD to the mankind that you tend to forget the bad things happened to you. But everything comes with a price and so you also tend to forget good things happened to you, that too even faster. But few things/moments stamps a blueprint forever. Hereby, am opening the hidden files/folders straight from my heart…

Age 17

Working parents and individual bungalow leaves room for a great deal of experiments.. hehe.. A Teenager, I was then, always engrossed in some kinda mischief. Highly influenced by English movies, I was very fascinated by one thing. How these Americans comfortably sleep naked (even if they are alone).. hehehahaha.. Am sure this thought must have crossed many of u also. So once I thought of giving it a shot during the daytime when there won’t be anyone at home. Carefully closed all the doors and there I was “An American on the Bed”.. hehe.. And then “The moment” came. Hardly ever I dreamed of , our maid servant who was working for us, for last 20 years, also having the keys to our house, unlocked the front door leaving it wide open. Already I was naked, a sudden cold gripped me. My room was next to the main entrance hall and within a sec she was around the corner with a broomstick in her hand. Though was having a biiiiiig blanket over me, my mind refused to accept that it was not transparent. Trying to bug myself in, from every corner I was horrified. Hardly I had buried myself inside the blanket, she calmly asked me to step out of the room as she wanted to clean around. By this time I was actually wobbling inside. Refusing to wake up I laid down in utter shame. An inner voice said.. “Alankar these 6 minutes, u will be remembering for coming 60 years of your life.”

Family..

Common Now! Everyone surfs PORN. That’s a unsaid fact. Have u ever given a thought why every time the remote fails to work automatically, when F TV turns on while changing the channels on the set and there you are watching that with ur grandparents, striking the remote as hard as you could. That’s what we call bad timing. Run time Bloopers. Hehe.. Anyways I was in my room, watching the “Unfulfilled Desires”(as I call it) on my Laptop. Suddenly out of nowhere my dad came in the room and stood behind me. Now there’s a simple option of ALT-TAB in computer which shifts the window screens. I had done that before and was pretty confident of doing that this time also. But it was destined to be the day which I would remember years later also and so by mistake I pressed ALT-TAB twice. Because of this the screen changed for 1 sec and again the original screen came up. Caught red-handed!!!! Dad stood there for 3 sec max. and left the room.. hehehe.. Worst encounter ever.. From then I changed the name to “Undesired, but fulfilled”.

Relationship..

It was my last day in Nagpur, before joining Patni Computers Systems, Mumbai. After today we wont be able to meet for 4 months was our concern. Wanted to spend the whole day with her, I decided to take her to our farmhouse, a beautiful place 20 km out of Nagpur. We have workers employed as caretakers there but hardly I was worried about that as DAD used to go once in 6 months for a routine checkup. We went there , spent the whole day talking with each other, enjoying the Nature and returned with wet eyes. Goodness gracious sakes alive! Dad went there the very next day. How cruel is this coincidence, I thought. As expected till then, the workers told dad “Chote saab were here yesterday only. That too with a girl”. F**K. Next day at breakfast Dad asked me “By any chance you happened to go to our farmhouse as harilal was saying he saw u yest. He remember ur green bike”. I started stammering. There was no chance of me accepting that and so refused that straight away. Made few fake calls to friends asking have anyone of them gone there as many of my friends have already visited that place with me. Mom came up with an horrifying idea of all of us going together to farm house and asking harilal to identify whether it was me only or some other boy. On that evening itself , I with one friend went back to farmhouse without telling at home. Harilal stays somewhere near farmhouse in 5 km diameter and so almost in dark we searched his home in the nearby village. Told him the entire story and asked him not to identify myself, tomorrow when all of us will be back here with mom dad. He agreed and backstabbed. Also he told mom dad that last night Chote saab were here to turn the game around. Mom didn’t talk to me for a month 

Verbal..

Many a times what u speak is far away from what u intend to. Few days back I almost lost my job for saying something like that. Though people (along with my boss) laughed out as if I made that up intentionally. It was Client Presentation in which we had to present the proposal. It was me who was bestowed with the responsibility of presentation. It’s a project on grid computing for which I am working on Molecular Organisms (Bioinformatics) part. So the presentation was very well going on till I said something and made the disaster. In place of saying Molecular Organisms I said Molecular “Orgasm”. And there they were, crying out with pleasure, giving justice to the word I used.. hahahaha..


Patni Computers Systems…

She and me were really good friends. We joined the organization on the same day and from there itself we had a great chemistry together. We always used to flirt a bit though no hard feelings and all, but pure friendship. Almost used to do everything together. From work to lunch…
We were in the lift, only two of us, going from 4th floor to ground floor. I thought of playing around. She was at the very back of the long elongated lift we had. I was somewhere near the door. I don’t remember exactly but some flirting was going on and I placed my hands on the opposite side(walls) of the lift. Now the situation was like… She’s at the very back end. Am near the door with my hands at the side, facing her as if saying “Now were will u go.. something imaginary” hehe.. we were just fooling around and suddenly the lift door opened at 3rd floor. Someone must have pressed for the lift on 3rd floor and the doors slide wide open. Around 4 of them including few senior faces in the building were standing watching my back as I was facing towards her. In a moment everyone including her, burst out in laughter and I was melting. Never used a lift after that day…

Many more similar days/events came making this hell of an interesting life. Cant even think of few, writing down is way too far. So crux of the blog is no matter how bad days u have seen try to find out happiness in those times also. Laugh at yourself. If you cant, I will do it for you.. hehehe.

Today’s Mantra : Screw your life a bit and start living.